I'm very excited to tell you that I've got a new job!! Thank you to all for your lovely kind comments over the past few weeks and for your good luck wishes (you might even have managed to guess from my previous blog post that it was a job interview I was going for, I just didn't want to jinx it by saying it out loud!). A big weight has definitely been lifted from me and I feel like I can breathe a big sigh of relief. Most importantly I can get back to being my happy self!
It's a bit of an understatement to say just how unhappy I've been in my job lately and I've only truly opened up to Jack and a couple of close friends about how much it had all been getting to me. It's very hard for me to admit how much I was struggling with the tiredness and stress of it all and how poorly I was sleeping (never have I experienced such broken nights of sleep or dreaded night sweats, which apparently in my case was just down to sheer exhaustion and anxiety). It's nice to write this on the blog though and be honest with myself; this blog is as much a journal for me as it is for people reading it at the end of the day. It took Jack harping on at me to go to the doctor about it and I'm very lucky to be able to say what an amazing GP I have. He's so very understanding and despite the fact it felt like admitting defeat by saying how stressed I was feeling about everything, it did really help to open up to him. I do handle pressure pretty well most of the time as I'm always a busy person, but I am a sensitive soul and not a tough cookie like my Mum (though I really wish I was). I've always been a worrier and I think I've just let anxiety get the better of me lately. It's very easy for family and friends to say things like "stop worrying" and "don't care about what other people think" but it's easier said than done at times and I can't change who I am overnight. Someone also pointed out to me that different generations look at issues in a different light - the issues we face now may be in a different perspective to what they were a few years ago, but that doesn't make them any less valid. It took this lovely person saying that to me for me to actually stop punishing myself so much about the fact I was worrying constantly about what others think and instead to focus on myself, which is exactly what my mantra is for this year. So thank you to Jenna, I'm very lucky to have found such a lovely and thoughtful friend in you :-)
I've loved my job over the past three years at this company and I am so grateful for all the experience I've gained while I've been there. It's just a shame when our company was acquired last year that everything went downhill quite quickly. Working for a giant plc company isn't for me and having been lumbered with more and more duties as people in our department left meant that it was all just too much and so I decided to look for a new job, with the focus on being happy - you spend most of your life at work after all! When job hunting it's important not to put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to applying for jobs and though I did apply for a few there was one in particular that my focus was on, I have to admit. I really liked the sound of the company, it ticked so many of my boxes and so I was over the moon when I got invited to attend an interview and then a second interview. I will admit that the second interview was a lot tougher than I thought and I really didn't know how I'd done when I came out as it was pretty intense and overwhelming. However, a couple of hours later I received a call from my recruiter to say that they loved me and were offering me the role! I was so happy, but also extremely nervous about telling my current boss that I was handing in my notice. He took it surprisingly well though and seems to be very pleased for me which is good. This job is another step up for me which is both exciting and a little daunting, even though deep down I think I know I'm capable. The location is great, good company benefits, friendly team and less hours which I'm very happy about. Jack was the one who first suggested to me about doing a few less hours each week in order to be able to focus on other things, one of those in particular is being able to get my accounting qualification finished. I'm so close to the end of it now but it's just been so difficult to find the time to study after such a long and tiring day at work. I can afford it which is the most important thing to consider. It also means I get more time to do things that make me happy, even taking Barry for walks does that. Jack also cheekily turned around and said I can have his dinner on the table each night wen he gets home! I'm very happy about it anyway and regardless of what anyone might think, I don't care because I'm happy! I've got to stop worrying about everyone else's views on what I do and start doing what I want to do because it's right for me!
Apologies if this has all been a bit boring to read, or if I sound like a mad woman. It was harder than I thought to actually write that all out, but I feel a bit better for saying it.
The focus now is on being even more organised than I already am, making the most of my spare time to get my studying done, make time for creative things like crochet and photography as they're my versions of stress therapy and to also be getting a step up career wise is just brilliant; I really didn't think I'd get that too when I was looking at reducing my hours so I'm very happy about that. Now to be back to my happy slightly nuts self! :-) Lots of exciting things to look forward to this year now!
Exciting things over the horizon!